May 3, 2013 ~ 23 Iyyar 5773 (38th Day of the Omer)

Dear Friends,

I recently saw the film “42” about the baseball life of Jackie Robinson. His number 42 is the only number retired by every MLB team, honoring his contribution to breaking down the baseball racial barrier. The movie was a powerful reminder of how far we have come in 60 years as a nation.

A turning point in the film occurs when one of the players asks Jackie why he never showers with the rest of the team. Jackie explains that he doesn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. His teammate responds, “Jackie, take a shower with a me!” Jackie’s cockeyed reaction, and the awkward, humorous exchange that follows is supposed to be a funny moment to relieve the tension and highlight the acceptance Jackie has won among his teammates. But it struck an odd chord for me. After all, here was a film focusing on the civil rights issue of the day – racial integration, and yet it casually included a gay joke – arguably the civil rights issue of today.

Obviously, in 1947, the LGBTQ agenda was not even in the public eye. Yet here we are, 65 years later, a midst a national conversation about gay rights, where a consistent percentage rise in the polls (now at about 53%) shows nationwide support for gay marriage. And, for the first time, we have a professional basketball player, Jason Collins, who has openly declared that he is gay. Collins wore #98 for the Boston Celtics and Washington Wizards this past year, a number he chose to honor the slain gay student Matthew Shepard who was killed in 1998 in one of the most notorious anti-gay hate crimes ever committed.

Although it seemed unnecessary to include gay humor in a film about civil rights, especially in today’s climate, I have to at least appreciate living in a country where it is possible to confront these types of issues, despite the long road one may have to travel. If black civil rights weren’t on the front burner during women’s suffrage, and gay marriage wasn’t on the docket during the black civil rights era, I wonder what other national issues might be hiding right in front of our eyes, ones that we might only come to embrace 65 years from now? Obviously, there have been many flags of justice waved for environmental protection, worker’s rights, health care, poverty, education, etc, but is there something else that the majority of our society is still blind to? Unless, of course, we are so self-confident as to assume that there couldn’t possibly be any further civil rights agendas left to be tackled…

Shabbat Shalom! See you in shul,

Rabbi Uri

April 26, 2013 ~ 16 Iyar 5773 (31st day of the Omer)

Dear Friends,

Last week was Yom Haatzmaut – Israel’s Independence Day. Along with our member Richard Katz, I had the privilege to represent our congregation at the Governor’s Mansion for a unique celebration of Israel’s 65th birthday. The event was hosted by two Christian members of the legislature and another pro-Israel Christian organization, and the majority of the Governor Jindal’s 200 guests were Christian clergy. In fact, a quick scan of the room made it obvious that there were probably less than 10 Jews in attendance. This was the most unique Yom Haatzmaut event I had ever celebrated!

I was invited to conclude the formal piece of the program, along with a fellow pastor, by offering a few words and by making a blessing over bread. I opened by sharing that I was the Rabbi of Congregation Beth Israel and briefly told our story of destruction and rebirth in the aftermath of Katrina. I mentioned that we had inscribed in our synagogue the verse, “Mighty Waters Cannot Extinguish Our Love,” as a testament to the fortitude and commitment of our community, and related it to the early Israelites who stood at the shores of the Red Sea – a ocean of mighty water blocking their path to the Promised Land. But they, like us, would not be held back, and plowed forward towards their new home. A home, which we have come home to again – after 2,000 years in exile, in the modern State of Israel.

I shared that in addition to the spiritual connection I have with the State of Israel, I also acknowledge a debt of gratitude to our holy land, for it was there that I met Dahlia for the first time, and it was there that we became engaged to marry!

As we raised a glass of wine and the bread we would bless, I said that when these two symbolic foods are brought together, they always remind me of the gift of “bread and wine” that Malkitzedek gave to Abraham to honor his friendship (Genesis 14). As I’ve shared before, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach once explained that wine is better aged and bread is better fresh. The message to Abraham and his descendants was that to be a father of a strong nation, he would have to learn to cherish his tradition and heritage – the aged wine, but that he would also have to make room for new wisdom and new friends – fresh bread.

As I looked out on a crowd of pro-Israel Christians and our Governor, I could hear the cautious whispers of our Jewish community wondering at the motivations of such a crowd, asserting that we have only ourselves to trust and lean on – our aged wine. But I could also feel the genuine love and support in the room that I was in, and I was overwhelmed by the generosity of spirit offered by these new friends – if you will, the fresh bread. And I wondered if we are indeed living in a time that Malkitzedek envisioned – a time where we would be wise to celebrate all together, old friends and new. It was with this mix of emotions that the Governor and I made the “HaMotzi” blessing together, thanking God for eternal sustenance, yet marveling at the joy of breaking bread with new friends.

Shabbat Shalom. See you in shul!

Rabbi Uri

April 19, 2013 ~ 9 Iyar 5773 (24th day of the Omer)

Dear Friends,

In place of my weekly “Taste of Shabbat,” I share with you the following blog post from my wife published on NolaParent.com:

http://www.nolaparent.com/talking-to-children-about-boston-marathon-bombings/

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Uri

NOLA Parent – April 16, 2013 – How my children found out about the Boston Marathon bombings

Like millions of other parents, I struggled with the challenge of how best to tell my children about the tragedy of the Boston Marathon Bombings. How much do I tell my children? Which of my children should I tell? Do I tell them at all?

As a child psychologist, I am often asked questions that may be different but share the similarity of parents wanting to know if it was appropriate for them to share with their children difficult information. For example, “Should I tell my 10 year old child that his grandmother just got diagnosed with cancer?” or “My brother is in the hospital and the doctors say that he has less than 24 hours to live. Should I tell my 6 year old daughter? Should I take her to the funeral?”

If you do read all the experts out there, you will find varying opinions to how you, the parent, should respond to your child in the midst of any potential trauma. You will read convincing perspectives ranging from “parents should be talking about the tragedy to kids of all ages” to “you should turn off all television and internet in front of your children.”

I have to admit that I didn’t at all anticipate the way my two older children (ages almost 7 and almost 9) found out about the Boston bombings: At a local restaurant. When I came back from ordering dinner, I saw that my kids were watching on the overhead screen gory images of many of the victims who were killed and injured, including an 8 year old boy. The truth is that I didn’t even think about telling them this morning. Not because I wanted to shield them from the trauma. But rather it was just a regular busy, hectic morning that consisted of waking up, washing up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and quickly dashing out of the door to make it to school by 7:45am. I simply didn’t think to tell them. From the looks on their faces, there was no mention of it at school either.

I calmly explained to my children what happened and answered the questions they understandably had, except for Elyon (almost 9) asked about why a person would want to do something so terrible and hurt so many people. Even moms can’t answer that question.

As I go to sleep tonight, I can’t help but wish that I had the chance to be the one to tell my children what happened in Boston. I realize that while I don’t believe that I should give my children full access to every gory detail via internet or news footage, I do believe as a parent, that I want to be the one to share with my children the realities of life. I want to be the one who is there beside them, to reassure them that they are safe, to create open and honest pathways of communication, and to give my children skills to the best of my ability to cope with unexpected, horrific tragedy.

Dr. Dahlia Topolosky is a licensed psychologist and parent coach. Her practice focuses on individual and group therapy, as well as psycho-educational evaluations for behavior and learning disorders. Dahlia is founder of the New Orleans Parents Club (NOPC), a group for parents to socialize and learn positive and effective parenting skills. She also provides private, parent coaching to parents struggling with the normal ups and downs of parenting. She can be reached at dahliatop@gmail.com 

April 12, 2013 ~ 2 Iyar 5773 (17th day of the Omer)

Dear Friends,

Yesterday began the star-studded Jewish month of Iyar: It is the only month on the calendar that benefits from a extra mitzvah each and every day – the counting of the Omer and the awesome buildup to Shavuot; it contains four meaningful holidays (Yom Hazikaron, Yom Haatzmaut, Lag BaOmer, and Yom Yerushalyim), and it hosts JazzFest!

Other than the Fest at the Fairgrounds, the other holidays of this month all help us focus on the emergence of our incredible modern State of Israel. This Monday marks Yom HaZikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day. Unlike the US Memorial Day which tends to be celebrated in malls, baseball games, and at BBQs, nearly all Israelis have a close and personal reason for spending their morning in cemeteries. I remember as a young yeshiva student visiting a military cemetery on Yom HaZikaron, and moving around with a group of guys from grave to grave to help families form a minyan for the Kaddish prayer. This is a day where Israel stands together in their common pain.

Monday night transitions us into Yom Haatzmaut, Israel’s Independence Day. Pain turns to jubilation as we celebrate the miraculous birth – a religious experience of the highest form, of the State of Israel. After 2000 years, we have come home and have the chance to build the country of our dreams. It is young yet, but has already accomplished so much. This is a day where Israel stands together in their common joy.

In just a few weeks, on April 28, we will reach the 33rd day of the Omer, known as Lag BaOmer. This is day which ends a period of mourning the loss of Rabbi Akiva’s students who died, says the Talmud, because they did not respect one another. And it celebrates the teachings of one of his new disciples, Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochai, the great sage and mystic of Jewish tradition. Tens of thousands gather on the hilltop of Meron (opposite Tzfat) at the burial site of Rebbe Shimon, to come together around bonfires to celebrate the light of Torah he brought to the world. This is a day where Israel stands together in the light of Torah and brotherhood.

Then, on May 8, we celebrate Yom Yerushalyim, the holiday which marks the re-unification of Jerusalem during the 6 Day War. An Israeli teacher of mine once remarked that after the War of Independence but before the 6 Day War, many Israelis bore a bumper stick on their cars that read, “Yasher Koach L’Tzahal” – “Keep up the good work Israeli Soldiers!” However, after the Kotel returned to Israeli hands in the seemingly miraculous 6 Day War, the new stickers read, “Yisrael Bitach BaShem” – “Israel trusts in God.” There’s still loves of love and respect for our holy soldiers in the world’s most ethical army, but this is a day where Israel stands together with HaShem.

I look forward to celebrating this holy month with you, counting each and every day (of the Omer), celebrating these great national holidays, and getting excited about pulling an all nighter on Shavuot! (Not to mention at least a day out at the Fest!)

Shabbat Shalom! See you in shul,

Rabbi Uri

March 29, 2013 ~ 18 Nissan 5773 (Sefirat HaOmer Day 3)

Dear Friends,

Today, my daughter Adi’s fourth birthday and to celebrate, she got her ears pierced! Ill be honest, I felt squemish about it all. I suppose not as squemish as when my boys had their minor operation on a different body part, but still – this is my little girl, and I was uncomfortable with the discomfort she would endure. But she was a trooper. No tears and lots of “I’m a big girl now!” smiles. I’m proud of her. (I should also be honest that I didn’t have the courage to take her myself and I will probably feel guilty for the rest of my life for not being by her side during this memorable life-cycle moment.)

Before today, I used to rationalize my opposition to ear piercing on Biblical grounds. After all, the only time a person’s ears are pierced in the Torah are slaves who refuse to go free in the Sabbatical year and wish to remain in their Master’s house (Exodus 21:6). The Torah obligates the Master to pierce their ear against the doorframe as a statement that they haven’t listened well to the Torah – after all, people are not suppose to live as servants to other people – we are only servants of God. So why would I endorse ear piercing for my daughter?!

But then I thought about the reading from last week’s Torah portion (Tzav), when Moshe has to turn the spiritual leadership over to his brother who will be the High Priest. In this ritual, Moshe takes a drop of blood and pinches it onto Aaron’s right ear. In the verse (Vayikra 8:23), the Torah uses a special cantilation note called the Shalshelet, an elongated triple whammy of a high-note which indicates a moment of hesitation. The commentaries note that this ritual moment is a hard one for Moshe. After all, when he is done “annointing” Aaron, Moshe will no longer be welcome into the Temple for the worship. It will only be the domain of the Priests. He hesitates ever so slightly with nostalgia as he recognizes that he is passing the baton and that it is another family member’s turn to rise into the spotlight. In some ways, the pinched ear is Aaron’s coming of age moment.

This Shabbat, as I look at my very proud four-going-on-fourteen-year-old daughter, with her newly “pinched ears” I am beginning to prepare myself for that day when she will no longer be called “Uri’s daughter,” and instead I will be referred to simply as “Adi’s father.” Happy Birthday Adi!

Shabbat Shalom. See you in shul!

Rabbi Uri

March 22, 2013 ~ 11 Nissan 5773

This Shabbat we welcome a group of students from the University of Maryland Hillel!

Dear Friends,

Families come together on Pesach. But that doesn’t mean that everyone likes the host family’s charoset recipe! It can get competitive!

Charoset isn’t even considered one of the central mitzvot of Pesach, but it has an important place on all of our seder tables. Most people associate the nut-wine-apple mixture with the mortar and bricks that remind us of the oppresive years of slavery in Egypt. But the Talmud also offers a beautiful alternative symbol to the charoset focusing on the apple ingredient. The Talmud in Sotah 11b records:

“Rav Avira explained: In the merit of the righteous women that were in that generation, Israel was redeemed from Egypt. They would go to their husbands who were slaving in the field.  And they would wash them and anoint them and feed them and give them to drink and lie with them, and they became pregnant; and when the time came to give birth, they would go and give birth in the field under the apple tree [so that the Egyptians would not find them. (Rashi)] As it says, ‘Under the apple tree I have awakened you (Song of Songs 8:5).’”

In this way, the Charoset carries dual symbolism. It reminds us of the mortar of our slavery, but it also symbolizes the resilience of our people who believed in a redemptive age – worthy to bring about a new generation under the apple trees. This duality is found in the Matzah too, which is both “the bread of affliction” – it’s all we were given to eat in slavery, and “the bread of freedom” – it’s what we carried on our way to freedom out of Egypt. And it is also found in the holiday that comes a week after Pesach, Yom HaShoah U’Gevurah - Holocaust Memorial & Resistence Day. It’s name reflects the desire to remember not only the horrors of the Shoah, but also the spirit that soared amongst so many victims and survivors as they fought for their physical and spiritual freedom.

May this Chag help us relive the pains of slavery – of being a “stranger in a strange land,” so that we can learn to treat differently the strangers amonst us today. And may we also be inspired by the acts of resilence under the apples trees and in Jewish home throughout the ages, who remained steadfast in their faith and identity, allowing us to live freely as Jews in our day. May the best Charoset win!

Shabbat Shalom. See you in shul!

Rabbi Uri

March 8, 2013 ~ 26 Adar 5773

Dear Friends,

Each week, as I sit to write this “Taste of Shabbat” email, I feel blessed to have the opportunity to reflect on my week and share with you a story or a teaching that has inspired me over the past few days. I do this, not only to give myself the opportunity to internalize weekly events, but also to encourage you to do the same.

This Shabbat, I wanted to share with you three brief things that made me think differently about life and the life I lead. Maybe they will inspire you as well, or at least inspire you to think about special moments of inspiration in your own week.

1) My father has not been well recently. He is struggling with a disease known as Myasthenia Gravis, which is an autoimmune disorder that affects his muscle strength. In his case, it has caused extreme fatigue, weakness, and double vision. On top of all that, he suffered from a heart attack two weeks ago. Thank God, he is doing OK and I had recent occassion to visit with him, but of course, it makes me realize that my folks aren’t getting any younger and how much I treasure, and need to treasure more, the time we spend together. I have also been getting involved with the local MG chapter. Our synagogue will be hosting their next monthly meeting and I would like to invite you to learn more about their work and their upcoming fundraiser for MG Awareness at: http://www.mgwalk.org/mgwalk/fundevent.asp?nnaffundid=82

2) I received a letter this week from a 6th grade class in Cairo, Illinois, who asked if I would send them a penny and a name of someone I knew who was killed in the Holocaust. Their teacher is trying to raise their awareness on issues like anti-semitism and genocide. They hope to create a meaningful exhibit honoring the memory of those that were killed. I sent them 9 pennies to remember the names of Gertrude Rosenblat’s parents and her seven siblings who were all killed in the Shoah. Gertrude z”l used to tell me that she would recite each of their names before bed each night. May their memory be for a blessing. You can learn more about the class project and send names/pennies of your own, at https://www.facebook.com/PenniesAsPromise

3) Lastly, my son Itai received his first Siddur at a ceremony at the Community Day School this week. It was a touching moment for all of us, especially to see how proud he was to have his very own siddur with a special cover and inscription that Dahlia and created for him. Dr. Berk, the head of school, said to the children, “I hope you use your siddur so much that you wear it out and the pages start falling out. When you do, please give me a call and let me know. I will send you a new one!”

May we all be blessed with a reflective Shabbat! Shabbat Shalom! See you in shul,

Rabbi Uri

March 1, 2013 ~ 19 Adar 5773

Dear Friends,

The Tooth Pirate Saga continues in our home. Elyon (who is 8.5) is fairly convinced that we are the tooth pirates (I like pirates better than fairies). But we won’t admit it. In fact, I think we are doing a pretty good job confusing him – not because he’s not old enough to know, but because we don’t want to spoil things yet for the other kids.

In any case, he changed tactics on us again and decided to leave a note for the so-called tooth pirates demanding that they leave his teeth, and in fact, insisting that they return all the previous teeth they have taken. To counter, we left a similarly stubborn note explaining that tooth pirates don’t take orders, they take teeth. Tough luck kid. We also left a couple bucks and some candy (hoping to rot out more teeth so they fall out).

Anyway, enough about all that. Here’s the kicker: Clearly dissapointed by the letter he received this morning, Elyon toilet papered our bedroom on his way out to school! We only found the mess later. To be fair, it was a very delicate job – each piece of toilet paper was neatly hung in rows from the ceiling. He used an awful lot of scotch tape too.

The funny thing is that Elyon didn’t mention a word of it to us all day, and we forgot to say anything too. It was as if nothing ever happened. We exchanged blows and moved on. What a odd stage of parenting!

But to take this all deeper for the moment, I’m still glad we are holding on to this tooth pirate thing. We live in a world where precious few things are capable of maintaining mystery. And mystery is the secret to ongoing love, passion, excitement, spontaneity, and creativity. (This is not just for kids – ask all the marriage counselors too!)

It was even Moses, in this week’s Torah reading, who sought to know God, and was told that the best he would get was a nook in the rock as God passed him by. Some things are best left to the mysterious unknown. Otherwise, you spoil all the fun!

Shabbat Shalom! See you in shul,

Rabbi Uri

February 22,2013 ~ 12 Adar 5773

Dear Friends,

I often hear people talk about Purim as a kids holiday with little to offer the adults. If you think this way, please join us over the next few days and allow me to convince you otherwise! I believe that Purim has plenty to teach us adults on a level no child could appreciate.

The Chassidic Masters teach that Purim is our holiest holiday, even more important than Yom Kippur. After all, the hebrew words “Yom Ki-Purim” can be literally translated as “The Day that is like Purim,” meaning that it is only “like” Purim, but not quite as special! Perhaps this is because Yom Kippur is the day we attempt to acheive spiritual enlightenment by means of abstaining from life’s pleasures (food, drink, physical intimacy, bathing, etc). Whereas Purim is the day we attempt to acheive spiritual enlightenment by means of indulging in the physical (with heavy emphasis on the Purim feast!). Judaism doesn’t normally want us to remove ourselves from the world, but on Yom Kippur we take a day to “brush death” so that we can appreciate life all the more. However, on Purim, the challenge is different: we seek a full encounter with the goodness life offers and pray we can know how to celebrate it properly.

It was Rava in the Talmud who taught that we should drink on Purim until we don’t know the difference between “Blessed is Mordechai and Cursed is Haman.” But I believe that Rava never intended us to confuse the two ideals. Rather, Rava is really asking: when you are drunk and can’t normally make good judgments, and your deepest inclinations come out, do you still inherently know the difference between Mordechai and Haman?!?! In this way, Purim is a soul-check. Where ya at?

See you in shul! Shabbat Shalom and Purim Sameach!

Rabbi Uri

February 15, 2013 ~ 5 Adar 5773

Dear Friends,

I recently returned from another inspirational week of learning at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem. Unfortunately, two days after I landed home, the founder of the Institute, Rabbi David Hartman, passed away at the age of 81. Several members of our group had visited with him in his final days and we knew that his end was near. I encourage you to read some of Rabbi Hartman’s writings as I cannot possibly share his entire legacy in this short email. But I do want to simply share just a taste of what made him such a special Rabbinic figure.

In our classes with Rabbi Hartman, he would often respond to a question he liked by saying, “That’s an excellent question. You should go home and think about an answer to that question. Think about it for a long time.” This wasn’t his way of avoiding an answer. It was his genuine way of reminding us that some answers don’t do the questions justice. He wanted to encourage his students to discover their own answers – answers that would be uniquely theirs, instead of those that satisfied someone else. He was always teaching us Rabbis how to be students.

My chavruta study partner at the Institute shared with me this story: Rabbi Hartman was once teaching a class on theology and found himself continuously calling God, “He.” Then Rabbi Hartman stopped himself and said, “When I say ‘He’ referring to God, I equally mean ‘She.’ And, if I say, ‘She,’ I mean ‘He.’ He, She – She, He – all I know is I still love my mother!” The room exploded in laughter! What made him such an engaging teaching was that he was never afraid to bear his soul and share his personal struggles. He was so real with us all, and invited us to be the same with each other. He created an institution that allowed a safe space for Rabbis to open themselves up, to be vulnerable, and seek support.

I also want to personally acknowledge how grateful I am for the opportunity to study at one of the only addresses in the Jewish world that makes Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, and Reconstructionist Rabbis feel at home in the shared study of Torah. And while we were learning, all around us we saw the open doors of the Hartman Institute also make room for Christian theologians, Muslim clerics, IDF officers in training, and Jews of all ages and backgrounds. I feel blessed to have  known him and be touched by his vision. May his memory be for a blessing to us all.

Shabbat Shalom! See you in shul,

Rabbi Uri